Happy Father's Day, doofus.
Just try not to tangle your new necktie. Or blow up the barbecue when you use your new grilling tools.
Doh!
Then again, your wife and kids are used to it. That's why they're giving you that look. You know. The dad's-a-colossal-screwup-but-what-do-you-expect eyeroll.
The joke's on dad
For a culture that honors fathers, even gives them their own day every June, it's amazing how often dads are the butt of the joke — on sitcoms, in TV commercials, in comic strips.
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"Because the guy is suppose to be the know-it-all, it's fun to see those expectations turned upside-down," said Christopher Miller, author of "American Cornball: a Laffopedic Guide to the Formerly Funny" (HarperCollins, 2013), which unpacks venerable comedy tropes, from Henpecked Husbands to Falling Safes. The Doofus Dad is one of those.
"I think it's kind of subverting our expectations," Miller said. "it's kind of like seeing a foul-mouthed nun."
Thing is, there's a fine line between subverting our expectations, and subverting them so often that they become the expectation. These days, who doesn't expect dad to be a dunce?
The new normal
Not watchers of "The Simpsons," "Married With Children," "Home Improvement," "South Park," "Family Guy."
Not viewers of TV commercials like the one for Huggies ("To prove Huggies diapers and wipes can handle anything, we put them through the toughest test imaginable — dad"). Or the one where dad and his macho Super Bowl buddies get so carried away by Doritos that they end up partying in women's clothes (Mom, with roll of the eyes: "Is that my wedding dress?"). Or the Verizon ad where the dad tries to help his daughter use the Internet ("So it's sort of encylopedia-ish?") while child and mother roll their eyes.
That 2007 Verizon ad got taken off the air, by the way — after Glenn Sacks, a columnist and men's rights activist, mounted a pressure campaign.
Father knows worst
When TV doesn't portray dads as dolts, it often depicts them as selfish, ridiculous, immature man-children.
It's the mothers, wives, and daughters — cue eyeroll — who are the adults in the room. "Mothers these days get more respect than fathers in the culture," Miller said.
A 2020 study by Erica Scharrer, professor of communication at University of Massachusetts, Amherst, looked at 34 top-rated sitcoms that aired from 1980 to 2017, examining 578 scenes that featured dads and parenting.
She found that "dad-disparagement" humor had increased over time — such humor figured in 18% of the scenes from the 1980s, 31% of the scenes from the 1990s, and in just over 50% of the scenes from the 2000s and 2010s.
Dad-blamed shame
So what's going on here?
Some might attribute it to the influence of feminism. Or the increase of women — and therefore women's perspectives — in the writer's room.
Or to the fact that women, still the primary shoppers for many families, are the target audience for many ads. It never hurts to flatter your customers.
"Since women do make so many of the decisions, it makes sense for the ads to appeal to them," Miller said.
But in fact, this kind of humor isn't new. The original wife-who-knows-better was Lysistrata, in the 411 B.C. comedy by Aristophanes. She organizes a sex-strike of the women of Athens, to get their husbands to stop fighting their stupid Peloponnesian War.
"Bringing Up Father" in the funnies, "Life with Father" on stage, "The Life of Riley" on TV, are just some of the entertainments have made hay from clueless dads and their — barely — tolerant spouses.
To be sure, TV has had its share of Ward Cleavers, Mike Bradys, and Cliff Huxtables. But it's significant that no sitcom has ever featured a super-competent father and an idiotic mother. Even Lucy Ricardo and Edith Bunker are shown to have bedrock sense, unlike their mulish husbands. "An idiot father is funnier than an idiot mother," Miller said.
Target on his back
Men, comedically, make better targets — as Charles M. Schulz, creator of Lucy and Charlie Brown, has noted. "He once said, when a little boy beats up a girl its not funny, but when a girl beats up a boy it's funny," Miller said. "Though I'm not sure I agree with that."
Bottom line: Comedy is about bursting balloons.
It's men's own fault if, historically, they've set themselves up as the masterful, super-competent, superior sex. They're asking for it.
"Humor is about making fun of sacred cows," Miller said. "The Marx Brothers movies are all about making fun of dignitaries and haughty dowagers. It's funny to laugh at people we're used to respecting. Who have come to feel entitled to respect."
Which brings us back to poor old dad. Breadwinner. Paterfamilias. Head of the household.
This Father's Day, there's one thing you can get him that he may not already have. Respect.
"Maybe we can have one day of the year where we don't make fun of dad," Miller said. "We just buy him a necktie."
